Well yesterday was my appt with Dr. Wyatt. He was super great and answered the list of questions Josh and I had.
To start things off I now have a better idea of why I have not felt so well the past couple of weeks and keep getting dizzy every time I stand up. My blood pressure was really high for me, even higher than when I was prego. It was 159/90. Dr. Wyatt was not pleased with that at all so now I have to check it 2-3 times a day for the next 2 weeks. If it stays high I have to go to my primary care physican.
Basically Dr. Wyatt told me that there is no reason for Josh and I to try to have another baby when we are ready. He did however just come out and tell us the odds and chances of it happening. He said that we really have three basic options to look at. #1 get pregnant and have a healthy baby. #2 not get pregnant. #3 have a tubal or miscarriage.
This is where the scary part comes in. He said that you can look at "normal women with normal parts" and say 1 in 10 may have a tubal pregnancy. However he said with my "parts" not being normal since my one tube I have left is upside down and wraps around my Uterus that my chances of a tubal pregnancy will double. In some cases they can go in and "remove the baby" and put it in the Uterus and a successful pregnancy will then result. In my case though that is not an option. He said if I were to get pregnant and have a tubal baby I would lose my tube and have to have a hysterectomy. That is where it really gets us thinking.
I talked to several friends and family members yesterday to tell them what we found out. They all had one thing to say. Which was that I was handleing that news better than they imagined I was. I thought so myself to be honest. I figured I would cry and have so many emotions I couldnt handle them all.
I look at it in one way and this is why I am not losing it right now. Callie was a true miracle. Dr. Wyatt even stressed this yesterday. Again he said that God is the reason Cal is here that there is no way my body can handle that without God. So that is my inspiration and hope for a healthy baby #2. I am sure some people that have a 5 month old would not even be thinking of another baby. However in our case our parenthood options are not like most. We do know we have a limited amount of time to have a baby #2 (God willing we get the chance)
I know that whatever Gods will is will happen in our lives. It is hard and I so wish I were one of those "normal" people that never even had to think about things like this. I would love to be able to say ok lets have a baby and it happen. Thats not what God wanted for Josh and I though and I have to accept that. Everything happens for a reason. Although this is very emotional and frustrating for me I know that we will get through it.
We are wanting to try and get pregnant right around Callie turning one so we will see. If we do not get the chance to be parents of two then we will just have even more the opportunity to spoil Cal rotten!!! That is such a wonderful thing about being parents:)
Also I am back on anti-depressants and hormones. Dr. Wyatt said that I should not be embarrased by that at all. He said that having a baby is hard enough and then losing a parent with a new baby has got to make things worse. I will be on the hormones for at least another year and then we will see how my one ovary is doing. He said that a lot of times when a woman only has one ovary it just can not do the work for two. The only other thing that may be bad down the near road is the fact of my one ovary not working at all either. He is optomistic but looking at my health and body now he does not think it will keep working properly for too much longer.
So with all of that said. I just want to thank God every day for the life I do have. Yes things are going on right now that I really wish I did not have to go through, but I also know it could be much worse. I never thought I would have a baby of my own to hold and look into those little innocent eyes and know she needed me. Now that God has blessed us with Callie I know that anything is possible!!! I will just try to stay positive and enjoy every precious minute I have with her.
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You've got the right attitude about the situation. I guess it would be different if you were told that you absolutely could not have any more children or if you didn't already have a successful pregnancy/delivery--you've got that chance and for some people, that's all it takes. Everything does happen for a reason and at the time we go through things, we may not always see that reason but everything comes full circle in the end and eventually makes sense to us. God has a divine plan for all of us and sometimes those plans don't exactly work out with what we plan for ourselves....just keep your chin up and remain positive about this. There's no sense in getting stressed out over making a baby because that will probably just do more harm than good.
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